unpredictable journal

31 December 2004

Can I've some peace when I'm sleeping? Sigh... woke up so early just because of all those stupid morning call from whoever to wake my kor up and the loud loud loud just like thunder morning shout from mom to wake him up too. End up she was being scolded for being so naggy... so irritating etc...

The weather was so nice for me to sleep a little longer but all these ppl just couldn't let me 've some peace when I'm sleeping. *Piss off*

Not realizing is already 9.47am... thought is only just around 7am+. But luckily... who's going to yell early in the morning sure ganna let me scold de. Haix... no wonder didn't hear my dad yelling at kor this morning lor, cuz he went to work le ma. Haix... or else... me sure go and die de lor... so noisy the whole house.

I've 2 similar dreams wanted to share so much but just don't know how should I start the story... hm... haha... still thinking la. Know le then update... Kk?

Update

Today morning went out with sis and mom, kinda funny cuz we dropped off at the wrong bus stops! Sigh... then mom was blaming me for being stupid, yes I admit I am. But how about you? You've been coming to this market for years le ley. Sigh...

Then went to buy short pants. Guess the cutting was quite small, so the size my sis and I wore seems to be big. Jie bought the pant that I like but she cannot wear it, too small. Wahaha... luckily me, me bought another two pieces. Nice nice...

Went to eat, 've Wanton Noodles... S U C K S!!! The chilli used the bottle type (Maggie Brand) Sucks right? Sigh... thought was nice, cuz many ppl eating. Sob sob... ganna cheated...

Hm... then we took cab back home, mom paid for it. Sigh... recently mom had been spending damn lots of money. Haix... so rich, why not buy a laptop for me?

Then came back home, practice cello then sis ask me wanna acc her to GP or not. Then me acc her lor... cuz mom wanna ask buy pepper...

Came back home with the pepper and mom scolded both of us... esp my sis. Cuz the pepper was 1kg!!! Too much... can used for 5years la! Then we went back and change for other item lor.

Then went back home again... mom laughted at me. Haha...

Sigh... recently mood was very unstable, so beware of me. Wahaha... !!!

I hope I'll luv myself more

09:44

30 December 2004

Update

Hm... doctor say mom has no diabetes but high cholesterol... and is that type which is damn high one and doctor wanna her to give her some medicines to lower the cholesterol level. But the medicines will 've side effect, therefore, 've to take another blood test to ensure that my mom is able to take that medicine. But I do not want my mom to rely on too much medicines, beside, if she gonna watch her diet, guess her cholesterol level could be lower down too. So why make it a point to waste money?

After coming out from the polyclinic, mom say wanna go to old jurong west. So we went there and I saw a few stores setted up as if they're night market, but the fact is, they are not... just a store.

Hm... one store sells shirts and short pants de. Wahaha... told my mom wanna buy then my mom say buy lor. So we went to take a look. Saw a design damn damn damn like it, but don't 've my size... (disadvantage of being fat)... sigh... is was so nice that I really liked it a lot a lot a lot!!! Haix... very nice... esp e white colour one... ultra thin... water-proof... etc... haix... all I can say is nice la... Haix... maybe after a few days, going back to see again. Haha...

Recently had been very lazy... guess cannot be like this or else gonna get sick very easily.

Ppl say going out such as working or schooling more or less will keep us fit same for the sims too. But I seems to gain weight when I'm in school but loss weight when I stay at home sleep till damn late, eat, watch tv and playing computer games. Sigh... kinda weird right? Haha... some pants were bought when I was around secondary 1 or 2. Maybe that time too fat, so the pants were in the gigantic sizes. Haha... and wanting to wear it again, it seems to be around the hip not the waist. Haha... well, rather fashion nowadays.

I've done a height and weight check for myself. Grew up 0.1m since sec 3 and loss around 3kgs when school holiday started. My brother told me that I'll loss weight was because I didn't 've my lunch everyday cuz I'm lazy to go and buy my own lunchbox. In school, during lunch, we'll definitely eat... esp e laksa... kinda miss it. Well... it's not very well cook but sometimes, it really tasted nice, just loving it! Kor still encourage me to do sit-ups... haha... he's going to challenge me by doing double sit-ups of what I've done. If he could do the double sit-ups of what I've done, counted him win and I'll 've to obey what he has ordered. I wanna take the challenge but in the end, I didn't. Cuz I was busying playing The Sims 2. Wahaha...

Hm... Frankie and Felicia has given birth to a baby boy, Christopher --> Can't think of any better name in such a sudden moment. So named the baby boy as Christopher... haha... Felicia wish to 've another baby and same for Chris wished for a brother or sister. But Frankie seems to care only about earning loaded money. Sigh...

But Frankie still care about Chris... he wanted him to get into a private school. Despite for being rejected by the headmaster several times, Frankie still determine to invite the headmaster again and again until Chris get into the private school. As for Felicia, she just wanna Chris to do well in school, dont' expect much for him.

I've created a blog for my sims but wondering should I package to The Sims 2.com? Haha... so that others can go there and rate my story. But at the same time, I'm afraid that my story wasn't attractive enough... haha... still wondering...

Hm... that's about all, going to bring my mom to polyclinic to collect her blood test results.

I hope I'll luv myself more

13:39

29 December 2004

It's a promise to share where 've I been to yesterday afternn. Hm... went to Pasir Ris park with my juniors to ride bicycle. But unfortunately, it rain cats and dogs and we hided in the shutter for around half and hour or so.

When the rain was about to stop, we went to rent bic at a rate of $4/hr (By right, should be $5/hr) so the four of us together saved $4. That's great isn't it?

Well, was rather fun when reached the beach. Haha... we threw stones into the sea and we drew out whatever we wish to draw on the sands. I wrote an enormous "I hate you" on the sand so the other follow suit but wrote/drew other thingys. Everyone seems to be on cloud nine

Hm... after returning the bicycles back we went to buy ice-cream. Haha... who stupid idea was it? Is me, the one who suggested to buy ice-cream in such a cold weather. Hm... was damn expensive man so we bought the cheapest one...

Is was kinda funny when Mic ice cream dropped on the ground. Haha... serve her right, who asked her to shake the ice cream?

Very soon after that, we board the MRT back to JP. Haha... guess we're going out again this Friday to snowcity? Haha... I've a free coupon but still gonna share among the four of us. Which means everyone still 've to pay $6 instead of $8 lor. Haha... guess gonna be fun again.

Reached JP le, Mic and Percie went back home first. Left Jo and I still shopping in JP. Hm... bought sushi as my dinner and cheesecake as breakfast. Then went to popular to buy Girl, Illustrated by Fann Wong. Haha... Hm... then later went to buy wallet cuz the old one spoilt le. Haix... sad case right?

Then we went back home le. Haha... reach home, mom asked me to eat the Laksa cuz she wasn't feeling well. Then I was like dot dot dot (0_0ll) Haix... then bo bian, eat the Laksa and treat my brother the sushi. Sad case right? But I also 've eat one or two lor. Haha... my favourite ma... cannot miss it...

Hm... went to shower after rest. I felt as cold as charity when I stepped into the room. Hoho~~ then wore another shirt and cover myself with blanket and start reading Girl Illustrated... finish reading after a couple hours... and I dropped off soon...

Till this morning when my dad woke me up just to tell me something. Haix... wanna wake up de, but still 've sleepy went back to sleep all the way till 1.30pm plus. Haha... then start practicing cello at 2.15pm+ till now. Haix... kinda lack of determination... so came online and update my blog. Finish updating gonna go play The Sims 2 le... haha...

I hope I'll luv myself more

16:25

28 December 2004

Coming back to home always sadden me. It seems like everyday I reach home at night, there 'll be at least one bad news for me...

Recently, had been quarreling with my family over minor things. Sigh... was I being ridiculous and unreasonable again? I doubt so... sigh... they just don't understand how I felt

I quarrel with her and we just got back to normal and here comes another person who's trying to piss me off. Sigh... did I say anything wrong? I just ask only, why must you A L W A Y S use vulgarity to talk to me? I felt insulted... your girlfriend is beyond compare than me? Sigh...

Sigh... my friends are sad, they've problems, how I wish I could help them. But how could I possibly go and help them when I'm in such a mood?

Sigh... how true of his nick. "The worse part is to hide the tear and pretending that I'm alright when I'm not", "Modern techonology enables people to get hurts easily... ... ... msn is a sad place for me".

How I wish I could tell him, msn has been a sad place for me too... perhaps... for her too. Haix...

Tml then share about where I go this afternn... no mood le...

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:09

27 December 2004

Wa lao... haix... this morning happily sharing my good news but now here to share the bad news. Sigh... I've play The Sims 2 for hours but end up, the whole house was so messy that I deleted everything away. Haix... now gotta re-play again. Sianz... no mood le.

Tomorrow meeting them at 12pm plus at CC. Haha... me went there to take my book and socks. Haha... then we go pasir ris to ride bicycle. Hoho~~

Guess gonna be fun

Praying hard that mom come back to S'pore soon. I'm damn bored staying at home everyday. Sigh... wanna find job, but don't know wanna work as what. Haix...

Hm... guess next year, gonna study damn hard already. Cuz a lot of my friends opted for Accounting even though they did not take up book keeping in their first course. The reason is because, most polytechnic courses require accounting lol. Haix... very realistic right? Haix....

Hm... bored bored bored... really damn bored at home...

I hope I'll luv myself more

22:54

The Sims 2

Yesterday night I was so lonely. Haha... no ones at home other than me. So 've been playing The Sims 2 till around 7pm when it hangs. Haha... after which get fed up and whet to wash my clothings till around 8pm plus, legs pain man! Haha...

Finish washing went to tidy up my book shelves... hm... everything's in apple-pie order now.

Then around 10.30pm I got nothing better to do, went to play The Sims 2 again. Haha... my daughter was in a delicate condition again. Haha... congrat...

I was wishing for 20 grandchildrens but possible? Haha... I found that my daughter was not so capable, out of 4 chilidrens she 've given birth to, only 1 was a baby boy, the rest are all girls. Haha... but luckily her, I'm not someone who favourable boys only. Boys and girls are still my grandchilds.

So the first child was a baby girl, Felicia. Not long after Felicia was born, Cyndi (my daughter) was pregnant with LONG FENG TAI (one girl one boy), Fanny and Frankie. The next day, Cyndi vomitted once again and we discovered was a baby girl that she's carrying now. Haha... and not long after that, Fiona was born!

Michael (my hubby) was promoted to Judge earning $1,137/day. Hoho... cool man. Haha... so I've decided to get the headmaster invited as soon as Fion has grew up to a kid. So that I could get the 4 kids into a private school. Haha...

Hm... enough... guess I"ve been playing too much of The Sims 2 le...

I hope I'll luv myself more

15:53

26 December 2004

An unforgettable X'mas

Yesterday was Christmas and I've enjoyed a lot even though still 've to perform. Well, it has been a successful performance cuz I could tell that all audiences enjoyed themselves a lot especially when the programme has come near to an end.

Performance finished we went to the stage to 've a photo taking. Wahaha... I wore the santa hat cuz I believe I look even cuter with that. But Michelle was so irritating... keep on pulling it up high. Sigh...

After which we decided to go to Pasir Ris but end up didn't go. Cuz of MH... sigh... he left his things (bag, clothes and cello) behind and asked Jo to help him bring back to CC. And it was kinda stupid of Jo promised him to help him right? When I'm aware about it, everything is too late. Sigh... end up we follow the bus back to BLCC. Thought gonna be bored but who knows it turns out to be ironic...

Haha... 've my happy hours at cc but who knows when I reached home dad told me that he 've been waiting for me since he came back home. He wanted to go and buy his dinner at around 8pm+ but he's afraid that I might reach home around that time (cuz I told him that I've forgotten to bring key out in the morning but I realise I've it inside my pocket). So he waited and waited with his empty stomach till I reached home around 11pm still didn't 've his dinner. So using brain to think, he nagged at me but I showed him attitude. Sigh... felt so remorseful...

Hm... went to 've a shower not long after that, I went to sleep around 12am plus till now. Wa liao... 14hrs of slept. Sigh... guess was the beer that I've drank y'dae that made me so tiring... haha...

Something sad y'dae...

First was Jo who has commited a mistake again and again after telling her a zillion time that, that note 've to start with a down bow!!! There's no reason that I can say her what if there wasn't stated. But Friday night I stayed awake till 3am plus all because of stating down the bowing for them. Yet she refused to follow it. Sigh... then say her she not happy. *Piss off*

Next was PS cello string broke. Sigh... I've warned them to be careful etc... but still the problem occured. Sigh... Michelle was so naive to help her to explain to me but things turn out to be worse! She cried and Jie Ling came over to me and asked me did I scold her? Hey! I beg your pardon, will I scold her for nothing?

Sigh... everything seems to be my fault and everyone is expect me to carry the can. F*** la!!!

And all the cellist performing NAN YANG FENG QIN except me and JO. The rest can go to hell le la. Sigh... bar 557 (accel poco a poco = accel a little by little) can't they understand that? They started off with a damn fast speed which is actually wrong... I tried to stop by playing it loud but none of them followed me. So I stopped and I followed them. Cuz don't wanna like audiences know that we played wrongly. Sigh... end up we seems to 've a repeat for Presto part. Sigh... for my heaven sake, we've been performing that songs for years le... yet still 've this kind of mistake which is unforgivable de lor. Haix..

And lastly you, MH... wondering did you really copied my bowing? If yes, why did you constantly play the different bowing with us? Haix... sad la...

All these ppl ruined my X'mas joys... haix...

I hope I'll luv myself more

14:32

23 December 2004

Kelly came over my house this morning. Haha... kinda sleepy still when she arrived at my house doorstep. Haha...

After wish went to JP with her and bought some thing for myself (food)... haha... suffering from depression... ate a lot the whole afternoon. Sigh...

Finish shopping went to my cousin house. Haha... not long after my arrive, granny came over to their house le. Haha... they chit chat chat lor...

Around 4pm plus like this Jie sms me. Asking me wanna acc her to JP ma. Then me say anything. After which granny acc me walk JP and find sis after which she walk back home alone. Haix... actually my granny quite nice de... ZUI YIN XIN LUAN...

Hm... Jie saw a DIAN GUAN <-- Dialect, hokkien... winnie e pooh de, $7.90... v nice... me told her me wanna buy for her as x'mas present then she say don't want... cuz me no money. Haha... I say nevermind, I pay for her but she'll 've to treat me eat sushi. Haha... end up she nv buy but she treated me eat sushi. Hoho~~ nice... yummy... ! Sushi my favourite worx... haha...

Erm... then reach home ar... wah... many things gotta eat la. Supposely mom bought for me as lunch end up become my dinner. Haha... then share mango with my dad then eat my sushi... but cannot finish... so nv eat... in my BING XIANG...

Hm... mom went back to M'sia with jie le. Haix... kinda miss em... jie wishes me good luck. Haha... kawaii hor? Haha... hm... they'll be back to S'pore on Tuesday. Haix... so long. Don't know how to use the washing machine ley. Haix... all clothes who wash? Think dad will wash ba... but mine I'll wash it myself lor. Haha... girls ma...

Hm... guess I've been too selfish y'dae afternoon. Sigh... I know I've hurt her a lot... but no point to be regret now...

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:38

22 December 2004

Well done

I've done it, I've met my targets and I'm happy over it. But who's there to share my joys? Friends? Sigh... what I really wish to share to wasn't my friends but my parents. But do they care about it? I doubt so... sigh...

EFW aiming for B I got an A

OFP aiming for A I got an A

BSA aiming for B I got a B

BK aiming for an A but I got a B (guess they moderate the grades as there're too many ppl scoring A le... so... )

Ave GPA - 3.25

With this grade, I believe I could get into Higher NITEC... from Higher NITEC I wanna do well and get into poly to further my accounts knowledge... or maybe I'll consider marketing too... haha... well it depends on my interests ba...

I hope I'll luv myself more

22:02

I HATE I DETEST!!!

Farewell my beloved granny. U... I detest u for making empty promises. U know how deep u've hurt me? I detest myself for not being sensible at all. Who is to carry the can? U --> Heaven for creating such a destiny for us... causing all of us in such a depressed feeling now. I hate, I detest, I hate, I detest, I hate, I detest, I hate, I detest you so so so so so much that I doesn't know how to put into words!!! !!! !!! !!! !!! Hate you so much...

Afterall, who do I hate so much? My granny? My mom? Myself or heaven, god? I do not know.

I receive a call from my uncle telling me that my granny has passed away not long ago. He asked me to inform my mom about it and yes I did. Mom immediately ask me 've I bought the concert tickets for her and I told her yes, I've already tear it out! She starts her nagging... nagging how can she and dad go and watch me perform when your granny has passed away? Deep down in my heart says that she can take leave on Friday to go back and see/attend her furneral but why must you choose on the day that I'm going to perform? Am I being selfish? Or am I being insensible? Or both words best describe me? Sigh I do not... I really wish I could just let my parents go back and see my granny but I do not know why am I just so selfish? I hate them for making empty promises, but I know they don't mean to it. No ones can predict what's going to happen next... causing me in such a depression mood was not what they wanted too. But why not just be fair? Went back to see her the last time on Fri and Sat came and watch me perform? Why can't they make such a decision? Sigh... after all... heaven, god was to be blame for causing us in such a mood. Creating such a destiny for all of us... u've been too cruel...

Sigh... how many combine concert I've attended? 4? How many times did I requested them to come? None! This is the first time that I'm begging the two of you to come. I just wanna prove to you that I really wish to become a musician... wanna to prove to you that being a musician can earns lots of money... I wanna you to enjoy luxury life in future. But how can I prove to you these when you don't even turn up for the concert?

And I hate you for back stabbing ppl (obviously I'm involved). I don't mind you being bias but pls stop back stabbing others. It's okay for me if you don't say any encouragement words to me but don't comment or I should say don't complaints about he and she behind our back. I hate that damn lots!

I know you wanna encourage him to stay at home and practice cello but that's not the correct way to do. Speaking lots of bad things behind all of us yet saying lots of compliments infront of him. Afterall, we're all your students... don't you think you've been too bias?

And you... you shouldn't 've told me about what he commented about each of his student. You should know what you should say and what you shouldn't say. Sigh... wondering do you 've any feelings? Fool? Who is the real fool? (Guess u're not a fool but just gullible) Me!!! Is me... you come to me when you've problem... you've problem telling your parents about it but once you solved your problem then who do you treat me as? (Readers pls don't think YY if you noe who I'm saying... just not FU QI)

Sigh... guess I'm a real fool... fooled by so many ppls... sigh...

I feeling so down... feeling like I'm going off soon... so weak... so weak... I wish someone 'll be by my side... ... ...

Why can't u be just like dad?

It was confirmed that my granny furneral is on the Sunday. Mom told dad that I've been crying because she made an empty promise to me. Dad came into my room and told me that he'll be going to watch me performance but mom will 've to go back to M'sia first.

My dearest daddy, is not a matter of you going or not. She's the one who dislike me playing cello, looking down that becoming a musician won't earn much money... I wanna her go is to prove her wrong. Sigh... no ones seems to understand me...

Sigh... enough crying for her...

A girl who seems to be strong in her outter appearance but the truth of her is damn weak than anyone else...

I hope I'll luv myself more

15:47

21 December 2004

Everyone seems to be in depressing mood... feeling so down now...

Sigh... it seems like everyone was in depressing mood. Yesterday he phoned me around mid-night telling me that he's encounting a problem. Sigh... now he quarrel with his mom. Haix... all of a sudden I felt that I was so useless...

Got a mail from her... saying that she's useless... sigh... 've I done wrong anything?

Sigh... feeling so down now...

I was wanted?

Haha... he asked me go over his house but I didn't. Hm... she thought of asking me to go to cc. Both of them asking me over to practice cello with them. Wahaha... kawaii man! Haha... so coincidence...

Sigh... I was pracitced till half way he say he's coming online haix... then me bo bian... gotta come online to acc him. Haix... till now... wasted my whole afternn. But it worth it... cuz as a frenz, he got pro gotta help him right? Haha... but I think he's okay now but... ... ... *speechless* Haha...

Sigh... Ji's say me play cello like xiao jie xiao jie till bow not dare to open big, follow and act according to my emotion. Ar bo den? Ar bo follow and act according to his emotion? Sigh... saying my me think of a lot of hua yang... not doing the serious things. Haix... what he mean by "hua yang" and "serious thing"? Haven't I been damn serious in practicing cello? Sigh... having difficulties in communicating with him nowadays... sianz!

I hope I'll luv myself more

14:23

20 December 2004

Finally I live back to the normal life, waking up early in the morning. Not very early but at least as compared to last few weeks, it has been quite early for me already.

Start practicing cello with Jo from 11am to to 4.30pm+... power right? Haha... I didn't practice much but Jo. Hoho~~ good isn't it?

Hm... so nice of MH helping me to convert the JIAN PU to WU XIAN PU. Haha... saved my time man! But was kinda lazy to go and take from him although his house very near mine. Sigh... don't say his house. My mom asked me to go and buy my black shoes soon as the coming Saturday gotta perform already but I was still so lazy to go the Gek Poh and buy it. Haix... my donation card submission date was due but haven't submit to the Post Office. Sigh...

Daddy and mummy confirmed that they'll go and watch me perform. Hoho~~ happy man! Haha... wondering will my cousins be coming too...

So 3 more days and my results gonna be out. Nervous la... haix... praying damn damn damn hard really wanna to score a GPA of AT LEAST 3.5... haix... lack of confident in myself man!

Good news?

Haha... Elgin phoned me asking me something and he sound cheerful man! Haha... that's great. Hoho~~

Hm... got my black shoes but it seems like the fiction wasn't very good... haha ... any time will fall down worx. Haha...

Erm... my cousin is going with her friend to watch me performing. That's great! Haha... good news man! Haha...

My daughter given birth to a baby girl, Felicia. Haha... and now she's pregnant again, hopefully gonna be a baby boy. Haha... but play till half way jam man, cuz I accidentally pressed something. Haix... luckily saved the game not long ago.

I hope I'll luv myself more

18:01

19 December 2004

What should I do now?

Finally the result was out! I was enrolled in the SYCO. Hoho~~ sigh... don't know should I feel happy or disappointed. So the orientation gonna be 14 Jan 05 (Fri) and the first rehearsal is on the 17 Jan 05 (Mon). The time wise, they didn't state. Hopefully is in the afternn near evening. Means 4pm plus like this... good right?

So Percie gonna have a P E R S O N A L cello soon. Haha... happy for her.

Hm... wanna go and catch some sleep but wondering am I able to fall asleep soon. Tomorrow gonna wake up at 0845 <-- (the latest) to shower after which, Jo's coming to my house at 0930 and after which going to CC to have our concert rehearsal.

Guess tomorrow will be a tiring day for me? Haha...

Should I play The Sims 2 or should I try to sleep early?

What should I do now?

Update

Yesterday went to the Juying Symphonic Band with Jo. Hoho~~ cool... JYSB rocks!!! I love their percussion players. They take turns to play all the drums that are available. Cool isnt' it? How I wish I'm their percussion player's too. Haha... so that I could master all the drums techniques.

I enjoy the whole concert a lot cuz of the percussion players and one of the trumpet player's, Li Wei Le. He lead the audiences to the atmospheric music concert. Hoho~~ nice nice

Sigh... guess my eyes sight had been getting poorer and poorer. Keep on playing the wrong notes during CP. Haha... very jialat... but what to do?

4 more days my results gonna be out. Have been very nervous for the past few days. Well, it's not a matter of doing just well, it's a matter or acheiving my targets, my goals...

I really wish to get the CDAC schorlarship... but I know it's really tough... but at least, if I happen to do EXTREMELY well (GPA: 4) this time round at least I still stand a chance...

I hope I'll luv myself more

01:12

18 December 2004

6 more days my results gonna be out!

Today slept till 1.59pm mom came into my room and beated my back side. Haha... She said: "Mummy had already came back from home and you're still sleeping? Wake up immediately before you went sick". Haha... HAO MING hor?

Hm... then went out of house to meet Jo and MH at cc at around 3.40pm plus ba. Haha... I was about one an half hour late. Haha... nearly took cab, but guess heaven wanna help me to kick off my bad habit. Haha... when I reached my bus stop, 99 came le. Hoho... saved the cab fare.

Hm... so MH wanna us to help him to perform the Canon in D. Haha... nice sia... but my sight reading wasn't quite good so some part of the song didn't manage to combine with them. Haha... very lousy hor? Sigh... disappoint with my performance man! Haix...

And what's make me feel like updating my journey was my handphone bill. Haix... guess how much was it? $44 plus!!! Haix... where can? Haix... gotta find a job soon.

6 more days and my results gonna be out! Hoho~~ nervous...

I hope I'll luv myself more

01:27

16 December 2004

I quickly woke up when I heard my mom opening the gate door and I realise that it's already 2.15pm... my head was so heavy that it took me quite a long time to lift it up.

Wanting to 've a wash up but mom was in the wash room washing clothes. So end up didn't wash up start practicing cello already.

Hm... not so bad I think, practiced 3hrs plus. Hm... it had been quite a long time that I stop practicing but guess it's not too late yet.

Wondering where has my determinatio went to. Or am I tired of all those songs? Sigh... hopefully not.

Staying at home enjoying holiday was kinda bored, not suitable for me. Haix... hopefully I could find a job soon. Cannot stays at home for the 6 months holiday... haix... sianz arh...

I hope I'll luv myself more

22:26

Hoho~~ changed my hair style. Hm... from a light brown to a light copper. Didn't look very nice cuz sis didn't dye it evenly, a little pitiful but nevermind, get it dye again by June. Haha...

Hm... didn't sleep the whole night, had been playing The Sims 2. My brother daughter seduced my hubby and now even carrying my hubby child... bitch lady! Haha... but luckily me asked my hubby to move back home and I got his face changed. Haha... clever ma? My daughter got married to Komei who earlier on having a crush with me. Now they 've married, they decided to have their own house, they moved out and left the two of us in a big bungalow. We're so lonely... ... ... sigh... shouldn't ve let them moved out as they didn't have much money to enjoy luxury life. But nevermind, as they're still young, they'll work hard and earn lots of money. Living in a small house to a giantic house. Isn't that good?

Kk... going to sleep if not daddy gonna nag and nag le. Haix... headache...

I hope I'll luv myself more

07:02

14 December 2004

Short entry

Yesterday slept at 4am plus and this morning woke up at 8.45am cuz bringing my mom to do a health check. Hm... doctor didn't comment much but suspect that my mom MIGHT suffer from Diabetes. He sent her to the laboratory to 've her blood test taken. After two weeks still have to go back and get her result.

Hoho~~ Pearlyn's allergy to cigarette smoke no wondering she never seems to recover from cough. But still 've to unblock her airway if not still 'll suffer from asthma. Haha... me gonna take good care of her, there's no way that I'll let her suffer from asthma. Hm... praying hard that she'll recover back to pinky health soon.

Hm... went to visit my kor, haha... he's fine. Happy for him... coming back soon. Yeah!!!

After which actually wanna go shopping but mom scare that it 'll be too tiring for me therefore we took a cab back home.

Sigh... thought that I could get my hair dye and bought a pair of black shoes for concert performance on the X'mas but everything is gone now!!!

Thought of practicing cello but it seems like I've no mood to do so... maybe later around 6pm ba... practice till 8pm then went for practice.

Hm... Love for Venus 5 is out!!!

I hope I'll luv myself more

16:26

13 December 2004

I've been feeling down recently

Recently wasn't in a good mood. There are a lot of things that I'm mad with. Sigh... am I getting older and older?

So 8 Dec was my last update. So I shall continue on the 9th.

9 Dec

Hm... went to CC to practice for the cello solo concert thingy. I was damn mad with she, she was so irresponsible. Sigh... she took the key on 8 Dec morning and she left early on that day. She went off w/o telling the rest that the key was kept in the drawer, she didn't remind them that they'll 've to lock and return the key to the office before they went home. Sigh... she didn't say a word before she left.

So on the 9 Dec when I was trying to get the key, the office girl told me that the key was not returned back. And it happens to be Jo who took the key on the 8 Dec. Sigh... I didn't know what to do, but I know that they 've a spare key for that room however, they refuse to give it to me. And so I phoned Su Qing, and guess what? That guy working in the office refuse to talk to Su Qing. Sigh... I nearly cried... I detest her so much... causing so many problems yet loving to find excuses to push the problems to other people. Wasn't that too much? Sigh... all she knows how to do was to get the cleaner to open the door for her. But that is not the main problem, the main problem was that she was too irresponsible. Sigh...

On the 10th was our first day of music camp at PA Pasir Ris Holiday Camp. Meet Jo at my house void deck and we set off. Went to JP to buy birthday gift for Jasmine and bought some clothes for myself and kor. Haha... spent around $60+... heart breaks... ... ...

Hm reach the camp site went mad again. This time round, I was mad with Jo again! Sigh... we left about 2 weeks time before concert yet the scores 've not been arranged probably. Sigh... before camp I've reminded her to tidy up her file and she say she has done it but when I do another round of tidy up, realise that there are many scores that we weren't performing. Sigh... and this time she uses "I thought we never perform this one, I thought we 're performing this one... ... ... ". Sigh... what a lousy excuses she 've used.

Second day of camp, again I was mad with her. She didn't 've this score, didn't 've that score. And there are some part of the song was corrected by Mr Lee but weren't corrected on her score. Sianz right?

Day 3 of camp, I was mad with her again. Sigh... I lost my phone but she wasn't feeling anxious at all. Sigh... she say she was looking through where I've lost my phone. Sigh... didn't she know how to ask where I've lost it? Sigh...

And today I was feeling so down... I've lost my determination to practice 5hours of cello. Sigh... feeling desperate when I know when my sis-in-law is going to bring my niece to consult doctor again. Sigh... she've been seeing 5 times of doctor continuously... sigh... and the doctor commented that her airway was blocked and after eating the 6 bottles of medicine and haven't recover, she'll 've to go to KK hospital. Sigh... I really do not wish to hear that she is diagnosis with asthma... she's just a toddler...

Asthma is really terrible, it make one's felt terrible sick... breathing so difficultly... sigh... it's so pain... I 've suffer from it before. I do not wish to see my niece feeling so terrible... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... cuz it breaks my heart

I hope I'll luv myself more

19:46

08 December 2004

Nothing special, just some thoughts

Nothing special. Haha... just came here to show off again... practiced 4.5 hours this afternoon. Sigh... didn't make it to 5 hours. But still I'll do a make up tomorrow. Well... hopefully only.

Tomorrow guess 'll be going to JP to get Jasmine Birthday present first before going to CC. Actually me already bought but sharing with Gina. Tomorrow going to buy another sharing with Orange, Li Hui and Li Ting. Haha... well... make it a belated birthday presents for her. Just hope that I'll remember to bring the present that Gina and I had bought for her long time ago tomorrow afternoon. Hm... after that 'll be going to CC to 've our practice for the concert perfomance.

The day after tomorrow going for CC Camp. (o_oll) Sianz 1/2... haix... don't go also cannot cuz will miss a lot of practices. Go also sianz... esp when playing games or what lor... sianz right? Haix...

Just hope that the concert 'll finish soon. So that I'll 've more time to concentrate on cello. And can hunt for a job soon.

Haix... guess that's about all ba...

SIGH

Sigh... shouldn't 've logged into msn... just getting myself to become mad. Looking for Jo and she's online. We started off the conversation pretty well but when she said she "A minor very difficult" and I get annoyed by her.

Sigh... also not very sure why am I so agitated. Just bcuz I don't like her finding lots of excuses to excuse herself for not practicing for 2hrs of cello today?

Sigh... whether she practiced for how long it has nothing to do with me. But I simply couldn't stand when she don't make an effort to practise yet complaining about these and that.

Sigh... what's the point telling me that you couldn't find the notes for A minor? U think you can find when you don't practice? It does not take 3 seconds to mastered a skill. It takes a lot of time for heaven sake. I practiced for days and I finally found all the notes... having a better accuracy. And you, you practiced for how many hours yet hoping to find all the notes soon. Wishful thoughts isn't it? Sigh...

I do not know whether was I afraid of being a failure or I simply do not wish to envy someone. Sometimes, I found myself was damn afraid of being a failure. Well, who doesn't afraid of being a failure? Sometimes, I do not wish to envy someone when I can also do it. Take a degree for cello who can't make it? Everyone can do it, it's just a matter of practice. Right?

Sigh... I just hope that I can practice for as long as I could during this holiday. I just don't wanna waste my time any longer... sigh... anyone understand?

I hope I'll luv myself more

22:22

07 December 2004

Continue to work hard

Today slept until nearly 2pm, wow... I was stunned when I saw the clock. Then start practicing cello until 3.30pm when sis bought lunch for me. Then when eat until 4pm and continue practicing until 5.30pm when mom asked me to 've dinner together with her. Well, 've a small bowl of fish porridge... yummy nice. Then continue practicing cello from 6pm until 8pm. So summary today I practiced 5 hours again! Hoho... power right? Well... left hand pain man!

Hm... started off with A minor scale and I was glad that I found all the notes after half an hour. I mean was lost when finding the F, F#, G and G#. So glad... hopefully I could be able to follow the bowing on the book stated.

42, 45, 129, 134, 137 and 138 gotta practice more. There's improvement in playing 45 and 139. Yesterday I skipped the middle part of 45 because of having playing out the rhythm but today mastered out already. 139 I was able to play in a more flowing and quicker tempo le. Yeah... Good right? Haha...

Hm... why am I telling all these? Cuz I got nothing better to do ma. So talk cock lor. Hehe... that's all. Continue to work hard tomorrow. Hoho~~

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:10

06 December 2004

Break record

Yesterday went to work at orchard. Haha... this time round I was the "ballon girl"? Blowing the ballon cum giving out to childrens. Haha... quite simple to work and earn too, $6.50/hr.

Today woke up at 11am then start practicing cello at 1140am to 1640. Hoho... break record man, practiced 5hours! That's great isn't it? Haha... guess I was too bored or should I say too many assignments to practise? Haha... hopefully I'd continue to practise for 5 hours per day. Yeah!

Assignment 42 manage to complete playing it. 45 skipped the middle part cuz having difficulties playing out the rhythm. Haha... but overall, satisfied with my performance today. Hehe...

After which, had been playing The Sims 2 till now. Haha... my daughter had grew up yesterday night. And now she's a student of a private school and work after school till evening. The two of us are going to die soon hope that our daughter will find her prince charming and get married soon. Hoho...

That's all.

I hope I'll luv myself more

20:31

04 December 2004

Tired

It has been quite some time since I last update. Hm, recently 've been playing The Sims 2 till morning 5am plus. By that time, I was so sleepy so didn't update le.

Yesterday had been feeling so down and there's no one for me to go to. Sianz... wander around the streets all alone for 6 hours then got back home with two red colour eyes.

Today went for the audition was kinda relax at the beginning but who knows that when I stepped into the audition room with a nervous feeling. N the carpet make no difference for my cello. It slipped a little, sigh... overall for Sonatina was so lousy. I wanted to play it with more feeling and I know I'm able to do it but just that I was told that I do not need a stopped. And luckily me, I bought my stopped in. So after playing Sonatina, I used the stopped to play the rest of the pieces. Hm... not much problem I guess... except for sight reading... wasn't very well played. Hoho... Mr Ji say that Mu He played the most impressive! Congrat!!!

Oh ya... there was this girl whom I admire a lot. She was so young and her cello skill was well mastered. Haha... envied her damn lots man! Haha... so good in her academic studies as well as playing cello. Hoho~~ Hope that I could 've more time to know her better. Haha...

Haha... that's about all ba... going to sleep... tired... 've been practicing cello for almost the whole day.

I hope I'll luv myself more

23:45

01 December 2004

Pls do not treat us like a fool, or else u gonna b regret... ... ...

Exam finish or not it doesn't make any difference. I got to know that we've the same assignments work as Mu He. Wa Kao!!! Is damn lots man! *Browned off*

4 scales to be practiced. Namley, A minor, G Major, E minor and F major. --> 3 octaves.

Assignment 42, 43, 44 and 45 from the "DA TI QIN JI CHU LIAN XI 170 SHOU". Assignment 128, 129, 133, 134, 136, 137, 138, 139 and 140 from the other book. In total, I'll 've to practise 4 scales and 13 assignments! Sigh... wondering is he going off for 3 months man! Haix... holiday so what? Holiday we students still need to work as part time staff etc... u had given so many assignments, you gonna be regreted man! Cuz I bet you'll vomit blood when we don't play well. You deserve it man!

And there is no way for me to practise so many assignments if you're away for about 6 weeks. Cuz I know that you're not going to listen to all. Don't trick us like a fool please!!!

Sianz... later old friend coming to my house. Also don't know what time she's leaving. Cuz in the evening still 've to go for the concert cello solo practice. Haix... go le also don't know what time 'll reach home cuz don't know what time the lesson end ma... haix... pathetic man!

Yesterday night then realise that I still 've money with my friends. Haha... cuz we sharing birthday presents for Li Juan and Mu He but I pay first. So hopefully Jo 'll help me collect all the money by this evening. Gina still own me $9... luckily she knows that. Hoho~~ kor still own me $100. In total, I still 've 135.60 which is not with me now. Yeah! That's great isn't it?

Hm... going to JB with Kelly. Wondering should I go there and dye my hair. Cuz after all, I think is kinda waste of money to dye hair even though in JB. Cuz the colour that I wanna dye can be bought from outside. I can just buy it for no more than $30 and ask my sister to dye for me and that's it. Right? Why must I waste my money for just getting a treatment for my hair yet cost me for around S$50+ ? If I get my sis to dye for me, I'm sure that it won't cost more than $30 lor. So still wondering wanna go with her or not. Cuz she wanna do rebonding... nice meh? Wavie curl look nicer right? Any way, her hair is already wavie curl... haha... K la...

Haix... that's all I've to say...

I hope I'll luv myself more

11:04